Volume I, Issue IV: Extras

My Love: At the End of the Line

October 23, 2017

By: Nicolas Brunstein & Gabriel Oldfield

So much searching with no success, I

Feel like I have been locked

Out from your life like children

Locked outside the wine cellar. Inside

Are the pleasures desired--forbidden. My

Heart aches--trapped within the floorboards.

Your deep eyes call to me; I

Cannot resist to dive into them and hear

The splash. Your hands, when I touch them

My heart thumps, I feel it pounding.

I dream of you all day, but miss you most at

Home--I crawl alone into bed, each night.

Your body, warm against my own. The

Heat of your loins: the ultimate temptation.

Your full lips are of

The sweetness of candy.

A flash from your brilliant smile was

Intoxicating--purely irresistible.

My hands wander impulsively--they

Linger through your hair. I gasp

As you move lower and deeper in

Search of ecstasy. The

Breath pushed against my chest--tight

In this boundless space.

I need your strength, power, force. I

Need your love to feed

My lust. I can hear them…

I feel your curves once through--

I awaken from my slumber. The

kids, I feed them through the cracks…

Classifieds

Single, cisgendered, white male now desperately seeks small, flightless bird, for a committed relationship. Still enjoys “masterpiece theatre,” long walks on the beach, and jello baths. (Please!!!

Contact at (563) 349-6203

For Sale!!!

“A Fuzzy Memory of a Fun Night”

A Slocum original

$200, 10”x28” canvas print.

Comes with free lap dance.

Services required

Evil henchman/woman

Must be ugly, have a hunched back, and talk in a sniveling voice

A brain in a jar is not required on the first day, but recommended.

Come to room 202 to apply

Other services required

The ‘02 Tribune wants your help

Send in an article, editorial, photo, comic, poem, advice question, or classified

Simply slide it under the door of room 202

Home and Garden

October 24, 2017

By: Ben Florence, Staff writer

Home:

Garden:

THE FUNNIES: