Volume I, Issue III: Extras

The People on the Street

October 17, 2017

By: Nicolas R. Brunstein, Staff Writer

Gracious people all around And gracious people from this town Beyond the streets and the buildings so high Everyone always greets: "oh hi" "Hello," I say to the people walking by It's a great day, no need to be shy The air is warm and the sun will shine So the day will always be fine My friends are wonderful, I can never lie Each beginning letter spells my cry

CLASSIFIEDS

October 17, 2017

Single, cisgendered, white male now desperately seeks small, flightless bird, for a committed relationship. Still enjoys “masterpiece theatre,” long walks on the beach, and jello baths.

Contact at (563) 349-6203.

Workers needed for Max Brenner Chocolate

Must be under 4’, have orange skin and green hair. Singers/dancers preferred. Contact Mr. Aknow at (563) 468-3800.

Editors Needed,

New Magazine: "Jelly Enthusiast"

Start-up magazine focuses entirely on the jellies in New York. $25/hour. Includes free jelly tastings every other week. Must have an unstoppable, insatiable lust for jellies.

THE FUNNIES: