Dear Dr. Florence: Roommates & Love

Benjamin R. Florence, Staff Writer

November 6, 2017

Volume II, Issue I

Dear Dr. Florence,

Why?

Sincerely,

Gabriel Oldfield

Dear Gabriel Oldfield,

I don’t need your sass.

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R Florence Ph.D.

Dear Dr. Florence,

My 6’4” roommate is getting on my nerves. How do I get him to leave?

Sincerely,

Nico Brunstein

Dear Nico Brunstein,

I think you need to be patient with your roommate. It sounds like he’s just trying his hardest to fit in, and is going through some tough times. Maybe be a little more friendlier, and buy him lunch sometime, and you will discover that instead of getting on your nerves, he has made his way into your heart.

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R Florence Ph.D.

Dear Dr. Florence,

Have you ever loved a man?

Sincerely,

Sam Slocum

Dear Sam Slocum,

No.

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R Florence Ph.D.

Dear Dr. Florence,

I am having trouble with my roommate. She is always making noise, and has her stuff strewn about everywhere. I was hoping you could give me some advice about what to do (serious advice, not just weird crap). Could you help me?

Sincerely,

Annoyed Amy

Dear Annoyed Amy,

This is a common problem that roommates run into, and luckily you’ve come to the right person. I myself have been a roommate, and I can tell you that my situation is also less than ideal. My roommates are all an obnoxious bunch of immature, smelly, loud, obnoxious, bumbling apes, that are also dumb and ugly, and Sam is a stupid idiot who everyone hates. The best thing to do is to not make your problem a conflict. Say carefully, plainly, and politely what your issue is, and if it isn’t rectified immediately, don’t freak out. This is the most common mistake people make, confronting their roommates and then starting a fight. For example, “Hey, I have friends coming over, so could you put some of your clothes away,” or “I need to get some sleep, so could you turn that down a little bit.” They probably don’t know that you have a problem, and aren’t trying to make you miserable on purpose, and so you shouldn’t take it personally. Just like if you were accidentally doing something that bothered someone else, you’d want them to tell you, but you wouldn’t want them to freak out on you.

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R Florence Ph.D.