Dear Dr. Florence: Christmas Wishes

Benjamin R. Florence, Ph.D., Staff Writer

December 12, 2017

Volume III, Issue II

Dear Dr. Florence, How do you write good dialogue for superhero comics? Sincerely, Stanley

Dear Stanley, The real trick to writing good dialogue isn’t actually in the content, but the font. All you have to do is bold and italicize every third word or so, even if it doesn’t make any sense to stress them. For some reason, this makes it seem as if the character is actually speaking, and you aren’t just reading words on a page. Personally, I think it’s pretty dumb, but with great power comes great responsibility.

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R Florence, Ph.D.

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Dear Dr. Florence,

Usually, Christmas is my favorite time of year. I can’t wait to see all of the decorations, go Christmas shopping, or eat Christmas cookies. However, this year I just can’t seem to get into the Christmas spirit. Do you have any tips to refuel my yuletide passion, as it were?

Thanks,

Santa Claus

Dear Santa,

This year, I want a toy train, a Hulkbuster lego set, any sort of large nerf gun, I dunno, me?, why?, the score for the “Rite of Spring,” toothpaste, some John Irving novels, Tenaciou D and the Pick of Destiny on VHS, some Omni-wool socks, a Steinway Model D Grand Piano, a big ass Snorlax beanbag, a pink Jigglypuff shirt that says “rest in peace,” 6 frozen wild turkeys, 6 bottles of Wild Turkey Kentucky Bourbon, a cd copy of ‘Thank you happy birthday’ by Cage the Elephant, a Fender jazzmaster electric guitar, love and affection, no wait don’t actually write that down, I’ll think of something, a fleshlight, and for Sam to stop yelling at me. That’s it. Thanks Santa!

Charmed as always,

Benny