Dear Dr. Florence: Mashed Potatoes

Benjamin R. Florence

October 17, 2017

Volume I, Issue III

Dear Dr. Florence,

I’m a huge admirer of your work, and I read it to inspire me every Tuesday. I do this because I also write an advice column, and in fact, it’s the reason I’m writing to you today. You see, I have a problem. I can’t seem to get anyone to write to my advice column, even though all they need to do is write any question they want answered, any at all, on a piece of paper, and slide it underneath the door of room 202 Brittany Hall. Or, they can email me at brf271@nyu.edu. What can I do to get more people to write to me?

Sincerely,

Dr. Doppelgänger

Dear Dr. Doppelgänger,

I suggest writing a question to yourself in your own column (but using a pen name), so your readers know that you want them to write to you. That’s what I would do.

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R. Florence Ph.D.

Dear Dr. Florence,

Do it be like it is?

Sincerely,

Oscar Gamble

Dear Mr. Gamble,

It do.

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R. Florence Ph.D.

Dear Dr. Florence,

I stuffed mashed potatoes into the bell of one of the tubas being played in Washington Square. Now I'm being chased by a mob of several hundred people. What should I do?

Best,

Currently Trapped at Battery Park

Dear By Now Probably in the East River,

Very impressive that you were able to email me while running from an angry mob! I bet you have the Unlimited Freedom Plan, from Sprint©. With unlimited data, talk and text, HD video streaming, and 10gb of hotspot per line, you have the freedom to do more, in more places. Can you hear that?™

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R. Florence Ph.D.