Dear Dr. Florence: Daddy Issues

Benjamin R. Florence, Staff Writer

October 2, 2017

Dear Dr. Florence,

Long time reader first time writer. So the problem is, today I heard a rumbling that sounded like stomping above our room. My conclusion is that it’s the room above me trying to start something, but I’m not sure. I really want to address the issue, but I’m not sure how to proceed. I really want it to stop, but I don’t want to annoy them, either. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Ruffled Jimmies

Dear Ruffled Jimmies,

It can always be tough dealing with annoying people who stomp on the ground in the room above yours. I recommend taking some friends, climbing to the floor above theirs, politely ask permission to enter the room immediately above them, and then stomping the living hell out of the floor.

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R. Florence Ph.D.

Dear Dr. Florence,

I just wanted to say that I’m a huge fan, and here’s my number, (207) 745-8664, call me! ;) Anyway, my boyfriend totally sucks. He never texts me, and all he’s bought me is a stale pretzel. But I totally love him, and like his jaw is so cute. But the other day, something happened that I just can’t get over. We were walking through Washington square, when we passed a totally adorable baby, and like I wanted it. So I asked my bf to get the baby for me, and he just laughed at first, but when he realized I was serious, just looked at me strangely and said that he wouldn’t just go and kidnap a baby for me. So I said fine I’ll do it myself, but like I’m totally not over that he wouldn’t get me that baby I wanted. So my question is, do I give him a second chance, or should this be the end of our relationship?

XOXO,

Daddy Issues

Dear Daddy Issues,

I can tell that you really love your boyfriend, and judging by the way you said ‘the end of our relationship’ and avoided the word ‘breakup,’ I can tell that you really don’t want to let him go. Everyone deserves a second chance, and to have a deep and lasting relationship, second chances should not be given sparingly. Forgiveness is key to growing closer, and I can tell that you and your boyfriend have something really special, something that should be pursued and cherished. Even if all he’s bought you is a stale pretzel.

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R. Florence, Ph.D