Dear Dr. Florence: Crafting the Perfect Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Benjamin R. Florence

October 23, 2017

Volume I, Issue IV

Dear Dr. Florence,

Recently, I’ve been having a lot of trouble making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Can you help me out?

Sincerely,

Hungry Hubby

Dear Hungry Hubby,

The first thing to do when making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is to get the ingredients. What you’ll need is two slices of bread, which you can get in pre-sliced loaves at the nearest grocery or convenience store, or even some drug stores. I personally recommend whole wheat bread, especially for the type of peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I am directing you how to create today (using toasted bread). Next you will need a jar of peanut butter, which I would recommend going to the grocery store, as it is less likely that a drug store will have this item in stock. Next you will need your favorite jelly (If you can’t decide, go for grape (If you’re allergic to grape, get raspberry (If you’re allergic to raspberry, then is life really worth it?))). Again, I recommend going to the grocery store for the jelly, as it is likely any other type of store will not carry it. After purchasing all of these items, you will need to gather from your own house a knife and a toaster. If you do not have either of these items, then check Bed Bath and Beyond, or a similar housing-wares store. Perhaps Amazon. Now, plug in the toaster, and unwrap the loaf of bread. Remove two slices of bread from the package. Normally, you use two slices from the middle, leaving the end slice, to keep the rest of the loaf fresh. Then, secure the rest of the loaf with a twisty tie, and place it in your desired bread holding chamber. Follow the directions on the toaster, and put the two slices of bread in, doing whatever the toaster says to do in order to toast them (If it’s a top-loader, there will be a lever. If it’s a toaster oven, a knob). After your bread is toasted, remove the two slices of bread and place them on a plate. Open the jar of peanut butter by twisting the lid counterclockwise. Use the knife to apply peanut butter to both pieces of toast. This will provide insulation for the jelly, so the bread doesn’t get soggy. Then, open the jar of whatever flavor jelly you decided to use, again by twisting the lid counterclockwise. Use the same knife, perhaps wiped off on something, to spread some jelly on one or both sides of the now peanut butter coated bread. Finally, put both pieces together, the side of bread with peanut butter and/or jelly on it getting placed against the other side that has peanut butter and/or jelly, so as to make the outside of the sandwich consist of the dry sides of the toast. And now you have a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich. For some slight variation, you can use chunky peanut butter for extra crunch, or add chex cereal for an even extra crunch. Popular styles also include sliced banana instead of jelly, or perhaps a dab of hot sauce in addition to the jelly. For a gluten free option, use gluten free bread, and for a vegan option, use vegan bread, and for a vegetarian option, use vegetarian bread. Enjoy!

Charmed as always,

Dr. Benjamin R. Florence Ph.D.