The Elephant In The Room

Joshua Ellis-Einhorn December 5, 2017

Volume III, Issue I

The start of the 2017 NYU Fall Semester went well. HOWEVER one man remains unhappy. Me. Specifically me. Because of a little animal that has become part of the 202 Mythos. THE FUCKING FISH. On the 2nd floor of Brittany the Resident Advisor, Ms. Lemire as she is colloquially known, put up themed name tags on the doors. They were accompanied by images of characters from popular animated Children's movie Finding Nemo. All seems well. EXCEPT I DIDN'T GET A FUCKING NEMO CHARACTER. I got some generic fucking fish. Literally the only person without a Nemo character.

What the fuck.

What.

The.

Fuck.

This is simply not okay. I feel hurt. Attacked. Targeted. Manipulated. Other words that mean similar things.

I didn't get the chance to speak to Mizz Lemire about this horrid harassment because she has been ignoring my calls. Though she is very "kind" and "nice" and "caring," all of that doesn't matter because of the FUCKING FISH.