Victory

Joshua Ellis-Einhorn Staff Writer

November 28th 2017

Volume II Issue IV

NEW YORK- War has started. All out chaos reigns. Gabe and Nico are at each other's throats. And on the sidelines, a young man by the name of Dr. Ben Florence considers his fate. I had the chance to interview Dr. Florence last night. I walked into the Brittany Lounge to find Dr. Florence sitting with his computer, and what I learned shocked and astounded me: Dr. Benjamin Florence has officially joined the 202B coalition after Gabriel Oldfield kicked him and Mr Ellis-Einhorn out to host a “female.”

“Do you have a statement you’d like to put in the paper?” “Bros before hoes.”

“Anything else?”

“Down with the Bourgeoisie, the Proletariats have nothing to lose but their chains.”

We then proceeded to go to room 202 to enact the traditional ceremony of switching sides.

“For 202B the motherland” Ben then proceeded to chug what was left of his gallon of Arizona™ sweet tea while the Soviet national anthem rang through the halls and into our hearts. He left me with this parting thought:

“I dunno… Gabe sucks”