Room 202 Resident Loses Wallet

October 2, 2017

Volume I, Issue I

NEW YORK- Little did Sam Slocum, 18, know, but that late night trip to the local pizza joint known as “99 Cent Pizza” on 6th Avenue would lead to such inconvenience, he would wish he had never gone. I had the opportunity to speak to Mr. Slocum the morning after that fateful night, and got insight into what I found to be a tale of both the best and worst of luck.

Earlier that night, Friday, September 29, Sam attended a casual get together in the dormitory of another student at NYU (the student has requested to remain anonymous). Late into the evening, Mr. Slocum, along with his friend of several years, Skyler Knapp, 18, decided to leave the party and “go for a slice of ‘za” in the words of Mr. Slocum himself. Little did they know, moments after they left, the room at which they were relaxing was “written up” for reasons that shall remain unnamed. Though Mr. Slocum and Mr. Knapp both avoided being reported by the RA “on duty” they were faced with a whole new problem. Upon arriving at the infamous pizza shop, Mr. Slocum alone ordered two pieces of pizza paying with a twenty dollar bill, receiving eighteen dollars in change.

“On this Cut-throat, wretched island, no one could give less of a shit about you.”

Only after walking two blocks did Mr. Slocum realize his wallet was not resting snugly in his front left pocket. Mr. Slocum immediately returned to “99 Cent Pizza” and was not able to retrieve his wallet and was told in broken English to file a police report. The next morning around 8:30 AM he returned to the pizza shop and was told to come back at 11:00 AM.

Upon returning at 11:00, he was told to return at 8:00 PM. When he finally returned, nearly twenty-four hours after his wallet went missing, he was yelled at and told to file a report with the police. Mr. Slocum had to cancel his debit and credit cards, request a new driver’s license from Michigan, and get a new student ID in order to enter his own place of residence. Mr. Slocum says that from this experience he has learned “that on this cut-throat, wretched island, no one could give less of a shit about you.”