Calamity in 202

Benjamin Florence

October 17, 2017

Volume I, Issue III

NEW YORK- Last Wednesday October 11, 2017 disaster struck room 202, in the form of a feud that challenged the fortitude of the flat mates’ friendship. The brawl was born of Benjamin’s bureau, which was placed, although practically, prominently and unappealingly in plain sight, potentially impeding purusing or playing patrons. “It was terrible.” Nico Brunstein, resident of room 202B, said later that day. “It really makes you think about what’s important in life, you know? I mean, when brothers turn on brothers, and families are torn apart, what do you have left? I’ve had time to reflect, and what I’ve decided is that…” (Mr. Brunstein had to be cut off, you can read the full text at this site: www.koalastothemax.com).

Reports say that Ben was already in the room when his colleagues, Sam Slocum and Gabriel Oldfield, walked in, and confronted him about the placement of his dresser. At that moment, things got heated, and the ensuing battle made its way to the bathroom, where Sam began beating Ben over the head with a soldering iron. Ben was sent to the hospital, where he was diagnosed with a concussion, and died at 3:43 p.m., October 12, 2017. There will be a private service for the family, and in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the 202 Tribune, located in room 202 at Brittany Hall 55 E. 10th Street New York, NY 10003.

(Photos courtesy of Hayden Ciampini)