By the Next Waning Gibbous

Gabriel Oldfield, Staff Writer & Editor

November 7, 2017

Volume II, Issue I

NEW YORK- Thirty days ago, Brittany 202 was struck with horrible tragedy. After only one month of having lived together, the members of 202 were faced with a predicament the likes of which they had never seen before. This event would stay in their hearts and minds forever, tarnishing their memories of that day.. Over a month following the event, residents Nicolas R. Brunstein, 18, and Gabriel T. Oldfield, 18, would remain in a standstill over what truly transpired that fateful night. The unbiased truth of the matter, is that Nico, as his pals call him, robbed Mr. Oldfield, as his pals call him, of an item, not only of sentimental value, but also crucial to Mr. Oldfield’s self esteem--a very soft, (truly mink-like) blanket.

Mr. Oldfield permitted Nico to borrow the velvety veil, under the condition that he return it. Even now, there is no sign that Nico intends to return it. Take this article not as a threat, but a warning. If you don’t return it by sundown by the next waning gibbous, you will come to regret it. If it is not in my hands the moment the yellow sun falls below the horizon, the following dawn will be red with your blood. Heed my ultimatum swiftly, dear Nico.