202A and B Drop Out of NYU

Sam Slocum, Staff Writer

November 28th, 2017

Volume II Issue IV

NEW YORK- It seems room 202 in Brittany will be up for grabs by next week, according to resident Nico Brunstein, 18. “Something’s fishy around these parts,” was his only comment in what was scheduled as an hour long interview. Rumors of Brunstein’s departure surfaced a month ago after he tweeted, “I’m leaving NYU.” News broke of Ellis-Einhorn’s departure as well. When the other resident of 202B was asked for a comment on his impending absence, he simply replied, “It’s fucking ridiculous, there is a clear difference. Tik Tok is a fucking bop, and it’s insane to think otherwise.”

As for Gabriel Oldfield, he is leaving to follow his hobbies as a wine connoisseur and classical composer. When asked for a comment, he replied, “It’s fucking ridiculous, there is a clear difference. Tik Tok is a fucking bop, and it’s insane to think otherwise.” As far as Benjamin Florence’s departure, little is known. When asked for remark, he mumbled into his pillow with tears streaming from his eyes, “If you build it, they will come.”