202 vs. 203

Daniel Velasquez, Guest Writer

October 17, 2017

Volume I, Issue III

We Interviewed room 203 to compare halloween decorations within dorms. Despite bringing nothing but our good intentions, we were greeted with bitter and petty personalities. Girls who go by the names of “Cat” and “Alyssa,” were quick to criticize room 202’s decorations, visibly jealous of room 202’s halloween accomplishments. Ben Florence, 18, founder of room 202’s decorating team, was no match for his fellow floormates’ harsh and cruel competitive spirit; the poor man was verbally and physically attacked, barely making it out alive. After beating Mr. Florence with a club and was dragged back to his room by fellow roommate, Nico Brunstein, who tended to him day and night, until his deep emotional and physical wound had festered until he eventually lost the will to continue on in this treacherous world. Later, it was revealed that the motives behind the attack were far different than were initially perceived: “Honestly, we speak and act out of jealousy,” Alyssa said, scratching her nose with her middle finger, “we think 202’s decorations are ultimately superior and are deserving of the utmost respect, if not worship”

(Room 202 Door)

(Room 203 Door)

I was able to get a statement from Mr. Florence just before his untimely demise “I just can’t believe that they would say something like that,” Ben said, a tear falling from his eye. “We were just having a little friendly competition, and I mean yeah our decorations are way better, but theirs are good too. I just hope that this doesn’t hold them back from the beautiful and bright future that I know they have. I love them, and God bless them. Lord, forgive them of their sins, for they know not what they do.” Not 3 hours later, Ben passed away, at 11:04 p.m. October 15th, 2017. There will be a private service for the family, and in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the 202 Tribune, located in room 202 at Brittany Hall 55 E. 10th Street New York, NY 10003.