202 Resident Finds Wallet

Gabriel Oldfield

October 9, 2017

Volume I, Issue II

NEW YORK- Last week, in the first edition of “The ‘02 Tribune” we reported that a Mr. Samuel Slocum, 18, had lost his wallet at “99 Cent Pizza” on Friday, September 29. The paper is happy to now report that Mr. Slocum has found his wallet. A woman, who has asked to remain anonymous, called Mr. Slocum’s parents, presumably with a cellular device or land line telephone, notifying them that she had found Mr. Slocum’s wallet outside of the pizza establishment the very night he realized his wallet was no longer “resting snuggly in [his] front pocket.”

Though relieved that his wallet is returned, he is frustrated that it was over a week before he found out. In the meantime he had ordered a new credit and debit card, replaced his NYU ID card, and already accepted the fact that he would never see the $16 in cash ever again. He now must face his memories of that terrible, horrific, awful, dreadful, horrendous, deplorable, abominable, hideous, appalling, unspeakable, grave, abhorrent, frightful, shocking, and atrocious evening once more. But in the end we must all face our past and realize that nonetheless, we must move on. We cannot remain idle in this tumultuous world. That is what I learned from all this.