10th edition: A Celebration

Samuel Slocum, Staff Writer

December 5, 2017

Volume III, Issue I

NEW YORK- This issue marks NYU’s most beloved Tribune’s tenth week of great news. Room 202 has gone through a lot over the course of these ten wonderful weeks: I lost my wallet, Josh got really angry about bops, Ben has died three times, Nico watched people do it in the penthouse, Skyler pondered about balls, Danny wrote half a paragraph, Spencer got weird with salt, and Gabe continued week after week to keep this publication afloat. Through all these trials and tribulations, our readers have stayed loyal, except for those d-bags in 802 and 1602, (802 even going so far to remove themselves from the mailing list). Besides those two rooms, there are plenty of other people who have doubted us through the years. Everyone thinks this is some joke. All of you hear your doorbell ring once a week and say to each other, “It’s those weirdos from a few floors down,” and then you come to the door and you put on a grin and politely take the issue, putting up with us every week. You probably think we’re just messing around; that we’re all giggles and roses down here in 202. Well I’ll have you know, this is the hardest I’ve EVER worked on something. And, contrary to popular belief, the only time I’ve ever cried was over the Tribune when I was told my article wouldn’t be on the first page. That’s how much I, and my colleagues, care about this “joke.” So to all of you who think this is “funny” or a “comedic newspaper,” I strongly urge you reconsider everything you know about humour. I don’t know why people still come up to me and tell me how funny the ‘02 Trib Trib is, it’s really upsetting. But, going back to the silver lining in this situation, we’re so happy about being able to do this every week. We love bringing you all the news. We love writing humorous articles and making you laugh. Hell, we love you, every single one of you, (refer to poem on page 5). I feel a connection to each of our readers, a connection I’ve never felt with anyone else in my life. It’s a deep, intense love that I can’t begin to put into words. Love you. So much. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t mean it in a weird way, I like love you platonically, as a friend. Unless you like feel…wait nevermind.